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i recently quite busy on packing my things.. because i am going to move house soon.. moving to somewhere nearby my sch .. ya.. going to start my further studies from 25th may. i have been stuck on those stuff this few days, suck.. Kena few new scar again when i carried heavy things.. last two days my finger even cut by sharp blade..shit..pain like hell..bled somemore..so unlucky me..or maybe i am just too weak? -___-
Actually, i found someone is cold to me since that day i threw my temper to them. I tot he understand what i said but he didn't. Since when i seem like nobody to him .. erm no, maybe i am just nobody to him start from the day i know him. Friendship? he once told me that he never take friendship seriously.
please, i am not weird, and don't just think i am angry because i am petty. I just be frank on my feeling.when you say it and laugh on me, please, think before you do that. yes, i hate the feeling that people just tell me what they want and just ask me to follow without any information earlier. why never discuss with me before you make any decision and just told me what you decided , asked me " YOU GO OR NOT?" it made me feel like i am someone extra and disturbing your date okie...if like that, better dun ask me then.
yes, maybe i am petty but sorry i never want to hide my feelings to anyone, i am not a woman who can laugh to you and stab you from the back. And, i will never do that to anyone. well, past is past. forget it. everyone got different views, it's no point to argue on this anymore.
for me, real friends will always know what we think and what we want.. I wrote this out, doesn't mean i want to have any argument or what, just want to express my feeling only. anyway, i apologize as i can't ask everyone follow what i think too and if i made you two feel bad. well, all kawan kawan baik, cannot quarrel and say goodbye one.. must be steady.. we should cherish the days we share and we have.. maybe one day, we will lose each other.. but, when the time we think about each other, i hope there will be a smile on your face but no grumbles and bad blood..even i know there are too many blemishes on me ..
seriously, i am depressed into something else. I met someone who is DAMN weird. ( no doubts, he is more suitable to use this word).suka-suka call me when he like, suka-suka lose contact then. that day suddenly called..he mabuk, i went to save him even i was going to sleep.. fXXk man.. when i saw him, he just grabbed me into his hug and kissed me in front of many people. There was few people looking at us and i push him away immediately.
Who am i to you? What kind of woman i am in your eyes??Do you think that i am so open minded to flirt with you? you think you are someone else than who you are and think that you going to have more places than you were? arhhh!!! push me to the corner with what you done!!! i swear, i will never see you again, since you are so frivolous!! no sweet talks, no flowers, no money. useless. those can't buy me, and my heart too!!Don't ever think that you can exchange my body, my heart, and my soul unscrupulously..i need someone who show me respect!!Yes i am easy going , but it doesn't mean i am open minded and always open my legs for everyone okie!!!Cut the crap, i don't want to hear anything from you anymore.. Don't call me dear again, it makes me disgusted!!
well.. cool down.. although i start my day with this blog, but i believe, those unhappy matters will happen on me anymore, because.. happy go lucky, today i will be lucky too, always always always.. this few days back to company and done some works.. so busy and tiring days for me recently.. but i believe i can handle and solve everything with my best.. there is no easy for a single woman to survive in this big city, but, since the day i arrived kl alone and started everything myself, i'm sure i can do better than others.
Guess that some of you never know the feelings.. When you hungry, you found no money left in your wallet, end up.. you only can be starved.. when you got a little money, but you have to pay your debts, so you have to eat maggi mee.. for one weeks more.. one day only can take max 2 packs..after that, maybe you can cook white porridge without any dishes, and take it as your breakfast , lunch, and dinner. Your work place is 15km far from your place.. you have to wake up very early, then walk 5km, so you can get the direct bus and save fares.. Everyone work by shift, but i was the only one who work from 9am - 11pm daily. Sometime, i even skip my offday, why? because i wanted to earn OT to solve my problem that times.. LoLzz..
But, end up, god didnt bless me.. something unhappy happened on me, and i was stuck into a serious problem. Although i have solved all problems now.. but for me, it was a dark period for me.. i was helpless, depressed, melancholic.. i don't wish to think about it anymore.. and i hope i can forget my unhappiness past.. because it brought me a lot of bad memories.. bullied by a lot of people..when you are rich, people will kneel on you, but, when you are poor, you are just a dog in their eyes and make you tormented either physical or mental suffering....
It has been so hard for me to get free from the days.. so, i cherish what i have now, and i trust i will be good even better in the future.. seriously, i am not going to make reprisals.. but, i will show those who ever look down me, i will be much better than you !! and i will own more than you too!! remember what you said, " Denise is nothing, but a woman with dishonorable past, so , leave her please." and, you will be regret and ashamed.. i swear i will try all my best to get all the things i lose.. and i will take care my family well too.. Thanks for your satirize words.. it push me to wake up and remind me what should i do.. i don't hate you, but really thanks for all you gave me.. wait and see..
10:02am.. i have to take a bath and go out later.. today will be another busy day again.. don't be frightened or surprised on what i type in my blog, i never want to cheat what i think.. maybe you ever have same feeling with me before. =)
